When the Comedian Roasted Me (And I Actually Loved It)

I was hiding in the back row of the Princess Theater on the Enchanted Princess, clutching my overpriced mai tai like it was a life preserver, when I realized I'd made a terrible mistake booking this cruise with my college roommate Derek. Don't get me wrong—Derek's great. He's funny, he's thoughtful, and he'd give you the shirt off his back. But after four days of being literally attached at the hip during formal dinners, trivia contests, and an absolutely catastrophic salsa dancing class in Studio B, I was desperately in need of some solo time. The comedy show seemed like the perfect escape. Derek had zero interest in stand-up comedy (his words: "I come on cruises to have fun, not to feel uncomfortable"), so I'd finally have a couple hours to myself. I settled into my seat as the theater filled up with the usual cruise crowd—couples celebrating anniversaries, groups of friends on annual girls' trips, and a few scattered solo travelers like me looking for a laugh and a break from ship life. The comedian's name was Marcus Wells, and I'd never heard of him before. His headshot on the daily program showed a lanky Black guy with an impressive fade and the kind of smile that suggested h…