When Our Scarlet Lady Anniversary Cruise Became a Comedy Show

When my husband Mark booked the Scarlet Lady for our 10-year anniversary, I actually cried happy tears. Virgin Voyages is supposed to be the cool, adults-only cruise line—no screaming kids, no formal dress codes, just sophisticated vibes and endless cocktails. I pictured us lounging on the Deck with champagne, maybe some sunset romance on our balcony. Spoiler alert: that's not exactly what happened. We boarded on Friday afternoon, and immediately I knew this cruise would be "interesting." Mark had somehow managed to book us a cabin with what the crew politely called "optimal natural light." What that actually meant was our balcony door faced directly into another cabin's balcony door about six feet away. Within twenty minutes of unpacking, we watched our neighbor, a guy named Derek from Ohio, walk past completely naked. "Well," I said to Mark, "this isn't the privacy I imagined." He laughed so hard he nearly dropped my anniversary present—a stunning diamond eternity ring that I immediately put on. Big mistake. That first night, we headed to The Wake restaurant for dinner. One of the best things about the Scarlet Lady is the no-reservation dining—you just show up when you want, and…