The Shuffleboard Champion I Never Expected to Meet

I've never been the competitive type, but there was something about a sea day that made me antsy. We were somewhere in the Caribbean, the kind of day where the ocean was so calm it looked like glass, and I'd already done laps around the Promenade Deck twice. My wife was getting a hot stone massage at the Greenhouse Spa, and I was wandering the Lido Deck looking for literally anything to do when I spotted the shuffleboard tournament sign-up sheet posted outside the Crow's Nest Lounge. The poster was printed on that cream-colored Holland America stationery, with a cheerful clip-art puck and cue. "Sea Day Shuffleboard Tournament – All Skill Levels Welcome!" it read. "Sign-ups 2 PM, Tournament 3 PM." I checked my watch. I had forty minutes. I'd never really played shuffleboard seriously before. A few casual games during past cruises, mostly just pushing the puck around and laughing when I missed. But standing there in the salt-tinged air with the ocean stretching endlessly behind me, something made me walk over to the activities desk and write my name down. What else was I going to do? Watch people in swim trunks play trivia about 1980s sitcoms? That's where I met Dorothy. She was sig…