2AM Nachos and Regrets: My Midnight Room Service Adventure

It was 2:17 AM on day three of my MSC Seascape cruise, and I was standing in my cabin staring at the room service menu like it held the secrets to eternal happiness. Which, at that moment, it kind of did. I'd spent the evening at the karaoke bar on the Lido Deck with my roommate Karen, two women from Ohio I'd met at dinner, and apparently several mojitos that I'm now convinced weren't properly counted. My brain was fuzzy, my inhibitions were nonexistent, and my stomach was absolutely convinced it had been betrayed. Karen was already passed out in her bunk, snoring softly in that way that somehow sounds both peaceful and slightly concerning. I was too wired to sleep, too hungry to ignore the growing void in my stomach, and too impaired to make good decisions. It was the perfect storm for midnight room service. I picked up the phone with the kind of determination usually reserved for wedding proposals or dodging creditors. The menu was right there in the cabin, printed in that fancy font that makes everything look fancier than it actually is. "All night service available," it promised. All night. Like it was a gift just for me. A gift I was absolutely going to take advantage of. The…